Since September there has been a file folder on my desktop computer labeled "Mexico City Docs." There is a school in Mexico City where three of my friends teach. My eyes had been set on it quite intensely since the summer. It seemed perfect. Closer to home, more space to practice and improve my Spanish, a great art and food scene. So, in my head, it was a done deal. I just needed an English position to open up. All of September I faithfully checked the school's website each day to see if they had listed that position that was essentially already mine. Finally, in October, it popped up on my screen. I skipped into our department head's office, announcing that it was game on.
To cut to the chase, the only game I was playing was with myself. After weeks of waiting, and after David speaking to the director of the school on my behalf, there was only silence. As I moped around about this for a bit, I decided I would expand my search. So I turned to the world and said, "Okay, I'll also consider Chile and Argentina." And the world turned to me and replied, "You're cute. Think broader."
Right before heading home for Christmas, Carmela, a seasoned international teacher, suggested that I cast my net much further. I smiled and nodded on the outside, and proceeded to frown and sigh on the inside. And then I really sat with what she said. I started to check out and email schools in Denmark, Belgium, Austria, Thailand, Malaysia, and Morocco.
In the midst of all of this, one day I was gchatting with my friend Lindsay, and, after detailing my latest leads in Costa Rica, Kuala Lumpur and the Dominican Republic, she responded with, "I think you're going to go to the job fair and come back with something totally unexpected. And you're going to love it." And this is as much foreshadowing as this story seems to offer.
Less than two weeks ago I opened my email to find a message that just caught me. After perusing the links attached, I was further intrigued by the school and the city it resides within, so I emailed back and scheduled a Skype interview for the next day.
Michelle and I have had an ongoing analogy, relating job searching to dating. The interviews I'd had leading up to the interview had been akin to the dates where you either wonder how you can politely be back in your car as soon as possible, or you later tell your friends, "He was really nice, but there just wasn't any chemistry."
And then I spoke with Mike. I couldn't keep myself from smiling, at times perhaps a little foolishly, throughout the entire interview. I was flushed with the prospect of being part of this new team. I was sweating with excitement. Literally. It seemed that I had finally met my professional match. That night I went to bed, but slept little.
I woke the next morning with a rapidly beating heart, the one my old friend Jake had coined my little mouse heart, and came face to face with rising doubts. Was it really that great? How crazy is this to consider a place so far away? And the language...Spanish won't serve me well at all.
So I spent several days sorting through the pros and cons, reflecting, talking with wise friends, doing pretty extensive research, interviewing with the director, and chatting with a current teacher...and the feeling that stuck, the intuitive sentiment that kept rising, was that this was it for me.
On Sunday, less than a week after my first interview with Mike, I awoke to the offer from Shekou International School in Shenzhen, China, in my email. I squealed and jumped out of bed, reminding myself that doing cartwheels indoors would be detrimental to my health.
And then I thought of one of my favorite Rumi quotes: What you seek is seeking you. For months I had been pushing for Latin America, trying to work every angle, feeling so frustrated by the crickets on the other side of so many emails. And then I finally let go of the original plan. And a new plan sought me, and, as it turns out, what the new plan brought was what I had been seeking all along.
One of the tabs open on my computer right now is to an article from The Atlantic entitled, "Why are Hundreds of Harvard Students Studying Ancient Chinese Philosophy?" It strikes me as particularly cool right now as I am a short distance from Harvard University, having just signed on with my next school in China. I read the article earlier this week and really dug it. Perhaps the part I connected to best is what follows: Puett (a Harvard professor of Chinese history) tells his students that being calculating and rationally deciding on plans is precisely the wrong way to make any sort of important life decision. The Chinese philosophers [the students] are reading would say that this strategy makes it harder to remain open to other possibilities that don't fit into that plan.
And this idea of a plan is a notion I keep returning to. During one of my interviews with a school in Costa Rica, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. My reply: I will be wherever I need to be in order to be growing. Right now that place is Quito, and starting at the end of July that place will be Shenzhen.
With that news, my dear family and friends, it is time to cuddle up with Cass and a good cooking show.
All my love,
Jame
 |
| "[Into] the thinning fog the [sun beamed], almost without sound, like a thought trying to form itself on the edge of consciousness.” ― Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep |
