These past several years, my spirituality has taken on a more nebulous form than in my childhood, teenage years and into young adulthood. My faith has not been lost, but certainly more difficult to define and articulate. I find and feel God now less through church services, and more though nature, the light I see my students and loved ones project, the light I work to offer the world, and through things like poetry.
Each time I read this poem, it is a spiritual experience. It has been so woven into my soul that yesterday I made one of the lines a permanent physical part of me -- I say with some levity and humor, this is the biggest commitment I've ever made in my life.
Last night, NieNie came to me in my dream. She was still sick, but more real to me than since the day she passed last year.
I hope that she is still watching over. I hope she comes to visit in my dreams again.
I am grateful for the wisdom and words, especially this poem, that she shared with me throughout the time we spent together. I've shared it with all of you before, but it is worth reading a million times, breathing in the imagery and beauty over and over again.
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
Book of Hours, I 59
