My feet are tapping tonight for that flight that takes off in two weeks, the one that doesn't land me on the coast or in the jungle or in a cool new quaint pueblo here, but back in my Midwestern element. I am not feeling particularly articulate tonight as I try to express why it is I have chosen to stay in the Southern Hemisphere for a third year when the truth of my missing life back with my people in the States lingers in the air so strongly this evening.
Twenty-two months ago I boarded the plane with Peter to begin an international experience I was certain would be contained to the two year contract, but now I cannot even say that I know I will move back home after three years. It is a possibility indeed, but not a certainty. Given the sentimental moment I am having right now, my eyes are watery pondering what I am missing by being so many miles away; the triumphs that Giatta and Natalie experience and then the trials that temporarily crush those I love so much.
My life is not better here in Ecuador; I just know it is where I am supposed to be right now. The way that my senses are so heightened, the way that the sights and sounds and smells still seem exotic, the way that I feel myself evolving and expanding, it all entreats me to continue this experience a bit longer. An exceptional truth is that I've never felt more confident, never felt more strong, perhaps never felt so proud of the challenges I have taken on, and, in a sense, never felt so beautiful before taking the big leap to be here.
This past weekend a number of us gringos bussed to Mindo (that whimsical place I am obsessed with due largely in part to the chocolate factory that is nestled upon a hill--where I dined three times in 12 hours on this last trip) for the annual despedida. A number of friends are leaving in a couple of short weeks. Pondering their departure it struck me how unprepared I am to elope from Ecuador at this time. So, it is a good thing, a fortunate thing, that I am able to stay, maybe just one more year.
There is something majestic here, in the whole experience for me really, and also in the landscape. I still cannot quite grasp the beauty I witnessed when a group of us ladies went to The Secret Garden (near Ecuador's tallest volcano Cotopaxi, spewing sulfur and rumbling a bit recently) for Alli's bachelorette celebration last weekend. Our mouths stood slightly agape as we sipped Mimosas and took in this view before returning to Quito:
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| photo credit: Maria Gribensk |
It is well and right that this apartment off of Eloy Alfaro is my home away from home for now. Oh, but how excited I am to give giddy hugs to you all when I return so soon.
Tonight, abrazos fuertes across continental lines...and in a fortnight, the real deal.
Todo mi amor,
Jame
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