Life with Chinese Characteristics, Chapter 2: Some Assembly Required

So I do this thing, where I time and again I believe the honeymoon phase won't end, be it in a relationship with a dude, a city, even myself ... nope, nope it won't, not this time around. I've finally figured out the secret to permanent, effortless happiness I muse smugly to myself. And that slightly naive, innocent, sweet thing ... I did it again. I landed in Shenzhen and was welcomed warmly into the Shekou International School community, connected with the other newbies and stared starry-eyed at the exotic store fronts and sniffed my way into restaurants with new smells and flavors. Mmmm, life is divine ... and delicious. Even if it gets a bit harder, what could really break this romantic spell? I mused to myself for three full days. It's rather laughable how loco this looks as I consider it ...

and speaking of loco, why don't the taxi drivers speak Spanish here? I just can't make sense of it. Seriously, how did I land at the wrong international school the first day of school when I so clearly said La escuela se llama Shekou International School, por favor? Oyyy ... spell breaking ... romance fading ...

My head has been swimming with all kinds of confusion. It feels like my brain is just complete porridge up there, sloshing around. So my mind is mush, and I feel utterly fried by the end of most days ... I have to keep looking in the mirror to make sure I don't actually look like the cat that stuck it's paw in the socket, like Einstein without quite that IQ, like a zombie marching into the apocalypse. You may find me dramatic right now, but the struggle is real, my people ... Though the struggle I write of is that of a woman from the first world living in a new land. A struggle that she mindfully chose to invest in. A beautiful struggle.

And certainly the truth of it is that it is not all struggle here in Shenzhen. I've had a sense of belonging from the beginning, my students are stellar, and I've begun finding the cool nooks and crannies independently and with new friends. But in this new world that I have chosen to enter, I do have to assemble a bunch of stuff. To begin, I have to put all of my Ikea goods together ...

Luckily, my new 17th floor apartment was set up with good furniture, so the most complex addition has been a step stool; every bit of space is utilized in my #chinaliving life, floor to ceiling, and I need a way to reach my wine glasses.

While it wasn't such a tricky task, it took some patience and undoing screws because I neglected to peruse the simple directions, but eventually .... voila!

Now I can nearly reach the top shelf.

The real construction, though, comes in building a life anew. It is finding my place in a new school, new city and new culture.

And being me, it also feels I have to reassemble my heart right now, which is missing Ecuador, missing home, missing feeling like my more sensible self (the self that does not get manicures and pedicures weekly, order groceries for delivery, and read a whiteboard aloud to her new principal exclaiming "Oh, cool, you have metaphor groups!" for him to reply, "That says mentor groups."). It is my most sensitive self that shows right now, but as I've reflected before, it is that side that allows me to love me and to love you the way that I do. It is that grand part of my being that holds moments and memories in my heart, making me laugh and cry and smile. And it is this sensitive and soulful side that is allowing me tap into the beauty of a new place, full of coffee shops, restaurants and parks to explore. And full of friendships beginning to flower.

And the thing is, if we all sit and ponder our most treasured relationships, the truth we arrive at is that it is only once the honeymoon ends that the real depth is discovered. In Ecuador, only when my initial wonderment wore off, and I sifted through a bunch of muck, that I felt how much the whole experience -- the city, the country, the people, the travel -- was stirring my soul.

So a bit more patience here is needed. And some wisdom from Mia Togo, one of my favorite myyogaworks yogis, may be heeded: Breathe into those difficult moments. The brain and the mind, when they get uncomfortable, they want to run away or disconnect. This is where we learn to stay present in that challenge. The body is that metaphor. How do we hold our body, even when it's a little bit of a struggle?

You nailed it, Mia. The tough stuff I am in now, it's good tough, it-won't-break-me but grow-me-stronger tough.

And in the midst of the tough stuff, we're still gifted with such beauty ...

That moment when a rainbow shines over Shekou the same moment it shines back home. #lovelife #breathdeeply #greatgratitude
photo credit: Laura Brice

Now, as I ponder assembling my weekend, I feel I should get some sleep. I miss your faces. 

Love from Shenzhen,

Jame