Life with Chinese Characteristics, Chapter 5: The weekend I fell in love

I remember when it happened in Quito. It was many moons after the initial enamorment, and it was some time after my frustrations over flaws and undesirable qualities had quieted. Yes, some months into my move to Ecuador, I fell in love with that developing city. If I wanted to be critical, I could find blemishes on every street, but when I was able to look past imperfections, I discovered a city that was willing to wrap its arms around me. I had fallen in love before, but as a former inamorato said to me, each relationship is its own universe. And this I see to be true. Each relationship establishes its own balance, its own yin and yang, its own spirit.

As the Universe is gracious, I was granted another chance at love. This is the weekend I found that I had fallen in love with Shenzhen. As with Quito, it was certainly not love at first sight. While I have acknowledged the attempts made to make this sprawling city green, the air quality has kept me from running outside on numerous days. If you take the time, you can find cool temples and quaint spots to dine, but the city is young, and lacks soul and history. And so it is that I have been holding something of a grudge, withholding my deeper affections for my new home.

But this weekend reminded me that relationships are about more than appearances; they are about the total package. You’ve got to look to the layers, like those of a sweet yellow onion; some will make you cry, but when you sauté them in butter, you get a real taste of the sweetness. 

And layers this weekend did have. 

As I wax poetic, I will start the weekend early. Thursday marked my 34th birthday, and I am one of those people who will shamelessly say that I love to be celebrated on this day of my birth (though it still seems weird that we are not showering my parents with gifts as they gave me life). It was my students who made this lady feel so special as they surprised me with a homemade brownie birthday cake. I paused to reflect on my relationships with all of my students, and continued to feel grateful to be working with each of them. 

One sweet crew.

The night was capped off with dinner at Baia, with a squad of lovely ladies ... and more chocolate cake.

Friday was a frenzy of teaching and grading as we prepare for the end of our semester. I had salsa plans with the lovely Latina Ceci, but sometimes the best laid schemes go askew when sweet babes are feeling crummy. So one minute I am in my pjs baking and prepping for Saturday night, and the next I find myself sipping a beer with the handsome German from my building. And God does it feel good to have a touch of romance, a bit of intrigue, introduced again. One beer, one night, or many more, who cares at this point. Let’s just shake things up. Here's to spontaneity and flirtation and feeling sexy.

And then Saturday turned sublime. Because lunch with Deborah at Panini Station is full of girl talk and her exciting plans for South Korea next year. Because Nanshan Flower Market with Linda is full of beautiful scenes and floral aromas and bright reds in preparation for Chinese New Year. Because progressive dinners with women who represent a handful of countries, with women who are strong, with women who are real, helps me to reflect that I have a beautiful tribe here. 

The year of the Rooster.

Orchids abounded, and so did the mystery fruit on these trees.

House hopping and fine food and fabulous friends.

Right now I am toasting Sunday, sipping a glass of merlot, with Patacón having tucked herself into the crook of my arm. Nanshan mountain — which lies right outside my door, and amounts to hundreds of stairs that climb up to a pagoda that overlooks the ocean — offered many breaths of fresh air and a long look at clear blue skies this morning. I do not take these things for granted now. After sprucing up my home by potting the plants I bought yesterday at the market, a trip to All City Mall proved fruitful. A long red wool coat that I know NieNie would have loved is going to keep me warm in South Korea this week. And oh so independent and victorious am I feeling that I am learning more about how to use the metro. 

So I’m saying I’m sweet on you, Shenzhen. I am finally getting in the rhythm with our give and take. I see how you are going to push me to grow, how many of the exasperated moments are leading me to further expand my horizons, hone my patience and remember my privilege. We have established our peace, Shenzhen. And I feel like I am home.