As it stands, Bond (Peter, that's you) is still in Quito, so the Bond girl is trying all her tricks on her own to get a visa renewal before leaving the country on Monday. I've previously written about my evolving tranquila self, the one who can just. let. go. Bueno, the way I have been sweating through my cute summer dress (mmm, let's be honest, the dress from Cassie's Closet...sorry sista-friend) and swearing not so under my breath seems to argue that that Jamie is definitely on vaca sipping Piña Coladas in Canoa. Fine, just fine. Without her it seems this now provides an opportunity to indulge my dramatic side.
The series of anxiety-inducing events has gone something like this:
1. HR at Americano informs me that my visa expires while I am back home, so I must renew in Minnesota rather than Quito.
2. They pass off the apparent appropriate forms for renewal.
3. I arrive home and call the Ecuadorian Consulate and make an appointment for July 28th.
4. Walking in on the aforementioned date with my papers and passport, I sit down with the General Consulate to take care of business. Ha, as it stands, there will be no processing today because the visa actually expires on August 12 (the first day I am to be in Argentina with NieNie) and it is against the rules to renew early. I suggest you go to the consulate in Buenos Aires says Ms. General Consulate. I wish I'd brought with my copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. You think I'm going to break away from red wine and steak to maneuver a visa renewal at the Ecuadorian consulate in Argentina?! Not. a. chance. I am also feeling it is unfortunate that we are not in Ecuador and that I am not dealing con un hombre because a few dolla dolla bills and bats of my eyelashes in tandem with pooor fa would likely do the trick here. I begin to really irritate Ms. GC as I ask what my other options might be. She finally agrees to process my visa on August 11th (really bending "the rules" here as that is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS early). I will have to drop off my papers and passport on August 7th and pick up my new visa on August 11th before flying out.
5. So now, here we are today. I walk into the consulate, present all docs once again to a new woman as the GC was out of the office. It seems now I do not have all of the passport photos I need. I will have to get more taken and bring those in tomorrow morning, when I have planned to bake cookies con mis sobrinas one last time this summer. Whatever, we'll just tell the oven to bake faster. But then, the kicker: I need a background check you say? I was not previously informed of this.
6. I walk out of the office and frantically begin calling police precincts and even the FBI (I don't think that was the appropriate office to contact) to see who can process a background check in like 12 hours. Here's the deal: no one.
7. My sweat glands are going into overdrive as I walk back into the office and inform the very kind (and here I imply no sarcasm) woman that I do not know how to obtain a background check by tomorrow. And anyway, I've been living in Ecuador this past year, so what good would a background check from Minnesota be? Oh, in that case I'll need a background check from Ecuador she calmly replies. Ha. Mmmm, we've been over my list of superpowers, teleportation isn't among them. Dazed and confused about my next step, I explain that other friends have renewed in Ecuador without having to produce any background check. Ms. Muy Amable says she will call GC and let me know what she says.
8. I walk out to have lunch with my friend Tunde. He tries to console me with his adventure of renewing his passport with the Nigerian consulate in Georgia. Good story, but he has his passport in hand. My passport is currently held captive. No call ever comes from the consulate before it closes at 2 pm.
9. I get in my car as I am heading to Cosco to take more passport photos and ring Bond in Ecuador. He listens sympathetically as I rant away. Last year we tag-teamed Juan Carlos until we had successfully accomplished our mission. C'mon, James, hop in your jet now, please...
So, I'll return to the consulate tomorrow to drop off the passport photos. Grandma says she'll come with and vouch for me. They will certainly waive the demand for a background check as her word is good as gold. Agreed?
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